This is the energy of disbelief: you standing on the edge of concern, worry or fear.
Disbelief wants to convince you that your worry, fear, concern will come true eventually.
Disbelief reaches in and hooks your heart, pushing you to let go of self, of center, of balance.
Disbelief wants you to dash your own hopes, your own dreams so that it can guide your life away from your heart.
Disbelief is like a worm digging in, burrowing into, to weaken, challenge, take away.
Disbelief has its own field of resonance, which left unattended, can overwhelm through sympathetic vibration and resonance.
Disbelief sets up its own vibration and when left unattended, that vibration becomes stronger. The vibration within you becomes more sympathetic and more in resonance with the vibration of disbelief.
You find yourself slipping into disbelief.
Disbelief puts holes into your heart weakening and testing for more weakness, more places to sink in and overwhelm.
Disbelief gets into your place of uncertainty of desire, dream, intention, pushing where resolve is struggling to find firm hold.
Here you are: on the edge asking yourself to be aware, to be conscious, to be always in a state of learning and growing.
Always there are going to be parts of you that are uncertain within you.
You haven’t quite worked it out.
You don’t quite understand.
Within a whole lot of what you choose to do in the world, you have no control over the outcome.
You are taking yourself directly into the place where disbelief can find its firmest hold.
If you weren’t on the edge, if you weren’t asking yourself to be conscious and aware, there is a way in which disbelief would have a harder time.
Without awareness you wouldn’t even notice that disbelief was there because it would be more your constant state than not.
Part of the reason why you struggle with disbelief is because you understand it to be disbelief.
Disbelief does and can because whatever the issue being tugged or pushed at, there is something which matters to you, which is important and seems significant if it doesn’t appear.
The possible absence or the possible lack of appearance is troubling, possibly very upsetting.
Disbelief shows when you are not certain, when you are willing to risk all, when you begin to be vulnerable leaning into uncertainty.
Disbelief comes sticking its head into the openness your willingness has created.
Disbelief wants to bombard you and make you back off from this risk, this that is not 100% certain.
Disbelief wants to convince you that only the completely predictable is worthy of time and attention.
Here’s the trouble: it is hard, and sometimes incredibly difficult, to stand steady in the face of uncertainty, of risking and failing, of not reaching desire or dream.
Furthermore, disbelief also exists because you create space in your life to learn, to be open, to understand something about yourself that you didn’t get yesterday or even a moment ago. As you struggle, as you push through, as you attend to that lack of uncertainty, disbelief knows that it has a chance of lodging itself and sticking.
Additionally, we live in a world surrounded by people who are not only dealing with disbelief, but with fear and anger and worry and blame and judgement and all kinds of negative emotion. We do not have the comfort of living within an environment directly geared towards helping us step out of disbelief. Not only are you being challenged by whatever your personal issues of disbelief are, you’re also living within, maybe picking up or holding, the surrounding group consciousness. Sometimes it’s not yours, but you still have to work through it. Your desire to open and learn is in itself an energetic flow which will have an effect on group consciousness. As part of this world, you are going to be stepping into group consciousness sometimes whether you want to or not, whether you’d like to or not.
To calm disbelief: do not simply make some kind of false promise to yourself like, “Oh, it’s going to be OK!”
Don’t go into false talk or cheer-up talk.
Don’t start making quick promises to yourself.
Disbelief is something poking at you, demanding attention.
Something is making disbelief appear within you.
There is some reason why you are feeling disbelief.
If you just immediately declare “Oh, I’m OK,” you cut off any chance for yourself to understand the genesis or origins of the disbelief.
The disbelief will just return.
Plus staying of out of cheer-up talk will be especially difficult if the disbelief is centered on something that you’ve dealt with before.
Here you are now: at choice.
When you’ve chosen a life in which you want to learn and grow and be aware, you can debate yourself about this choice.
But at the end of the day, you don?t want to give up learning, growing and being aware because you can’t step into the numbness that?s required to NOT be a person that?s always in a state of growing and expanding.
Through choice, you’ve opened a Pandora?s Box a long time ago and you can?t close it.
Now, it’s more about how you deal.
Part of how you deal is to understand that?s just how your life is going to be.
There?s going to be plenty of really uncomfortable, horrible moments when you?re going to wish that maybe you had made a different choice somewhere back when.
Issues will come up and poke at you from time to time because that?s how you learn.
To calm disbelief: take a deep breath.
When you take that breath, you are allowing yourself to just be here in this moment.
You are allowing yourself to stop.
Often when we get into this disbelief thing, we are charging down the road, yelling, “What the heck is going on? Take care of it now!”
You are wound up, out of balance, ungrounded, and having a hard time listening.
Breathing will help you calm yourself down to a walk, maybe even a sit down, instead of a run.
You take that breath to help yourself let go so that you can then ask yourself, “In this moment, what is important for me? What do I want? What am I worried won’t happen? Do I feel responsible for this possible failure?”
If disbelief is going to push at those places feeling uncertain, then what is raising its head is the uncertainty.
Whatever concern is there, whatever focus is not going to happen, despite everything that you’ve done, despite all the growing and learning, despite all the “let go of this, let go of that?”
Ask yourself, ?What am I worried is not going to happen? What am I worried will happen??
And then bottom line the concern and ask, “How do I feel responsible for these worries, this disbelief?”
It?s really, really hard not to push back. We are all smart, wonderful people doing the very best we can. Why it?s not working in this moment is beyond understanding sometimes. Why this? Why now?
What is so frustrating is that even when you can get yourself calmed down, answers don?t come immediately.
And you won’t know why.
And it won
t even matter if you ask for help.
Because in that moment of emptiness, you need to be with yourself.
You need to just sit with yourself, allowing whatever it is to come up, to come out and, hopefully, to move towards understanding.
You need to see within yourself whether or not something needs to change, either within or without.
When you stand in the face of your disbelief, a moment of true awareness can approach.
Be kind to yourself and in the kindness, look to see what bubbles up around your disbelief.
It?s almost always about fear, failure or both.
Know that whatever it is that you are trying to work with isn?t going to work the way you thought it was.
You’ve walked yourself down this road and things are different than what you thought they were going to be.
You need to make course corrections.
You need to get off this path and move to a different path.
You certainly, in this moment, could make it all about you making a mistake.
Or, instead, with a deep breath and in kindness with yourself: understand that in this moment you have the opportunity to make a different choice.
The motion toward disbelief is always an opportunity to learn and grow, expanding your awareness — if you breathe through to your choice.
This article is part of the articles I have written on the personal aspects of growth through spiritual practice. To read more like this, check out What is Spiritual Practice?