Here’s a question for you: What’s the difference between assisting someone and helping someone?
I’ve been thinking on this a bit and here’s what I’ve come up with.
Help: I’m doing something for someone that I think they need:
Assist: I’m doing something for someone because I was asked by that someone.
In other words, in one situation I am responding to a request.
In another situation, I’m doing something because I think it is a good idea.
Here’s the trouble with help:
When I’ve decided I know exactly what the other person needs, I am presuming I know best for them.
This is a very slippery slope.
One that is easy to slide down.
One where my presumptions, assumptions, and expectations can harm the relationship and possibly the other person.
Helping in this way indicates that one person thinks they know better than another.
Depending on the steepness of the slope, the help can imply that the only way the person will be okay is if they accept and implement the offered help appropriately in their life.
An additional display of mistrust.
Paradoxically, often the offer of help reflects the inner demons of mistrust of the person making the offer.
Projection and assumption lead help into a place of disturbance and dis-ease.
On the other hand, assistance is a response to a request.
One person is saying, “Hey, here’s where I need assistance.”
Responding to a request of assistance is more likely going to be a positive experience for both sides.
An experience which reinforces trust for both and leaves the possible detriment of assumption as a nonstarter.
If being of service means I decide what the service should be, I am moving into the mis-trustful energy of help.
If I respond, when asked, then I am serving the truth of the requester, supporting trust within and between.
After providing thousands of Akashic Record Readings, I know with all certainty: I cannot know what’s best for another person.
What’s best is for each person to decide for themselves.
If someone asks for my assistance, if I can I will say yes.
My yes doesn’t come because I know better.
My yes comes because I am working to trust my inherent wisdom as much as I trust the other is working to trust their own inner wisdom.
My yes comes in response to their ask.
Thus don’t help instead assist means so much to me now.
In this sense I say:
I do not help another.
I assist when asked.
For a deep dive, begin here: What are Mindful Moments?