When I began writing To Do Your Work, I used a question to feel into the energy of the pressure point. What came out was the energy story of the pressure point moving from feeling overwhelmed by the energy, to self-awareness, to release. This is the energy story of Fear following the question: Why am I Afraid?
In my insignificance, I am filled with tremors of fear, bubbles of terror, threats of hurt and harm. Everywhere I go, within others I sense there is naught but fear, naught but impending failure aimed directly at me. I am not unfamiliar with success, but I am intimately aware of failure and the knowing I will ultimately lose, never be in control, and never be fully capable of a good life. Thus, I must be ruled by fear so that life can be bearable, the pain not so great, the reality not too awful. The best choice in the face of fear is to acquiesce, to lay down myself in the service of my subjugation so the hurt is not as intense and the harm not as bad. Simply, I must make do within futile resignation. But, instead, having already moved beyond outdated, primitive response, I feel a twinge at center where my sense of value and worth have been allowed to spark the embers of my being and of my truth. In the tiny flame I feel rebellion. I feel my heart’s hope begin to burn. Another spark empowers and I see the fear as false façade, only controlling when I allow its power to restrict choice and awareness. Like testing the legs of a dead spider, I push at the fear, finding that I can stop its advance. I push again and feel the tender tendrils of my capacity begin to emerge to keep myself safe. I feel able to take a breath. In the inhale and exhale, I see the clear truth of my heart: Life is not fear. Doubt retreating, fear’s hold retracting.
Notions of my connective strength begin to flow and arise. At first, this flow feels uncomfortable for it also beats at my notions that I am without value. I realize my habit is to reject, to deaden, to refuse. But the flow is persistent and insistent that I matter, that I am worthy of life’s best. Without the binds of fear, I can accept myself. Without the fear of fear, I can choose for myself and overcome obstacles as they appear. I expand and feel my connection with ALL. Life need not be only to make do. Instead, resilient, I am full, connected, and worthy of all. I trust that I can manage the challenges of my life by trusting myself and the strength of my choices.
This is the energy story of Fear and is part of the writing I have done for my next book, To Do Your Work. To read other excerpts, go here.