When I began writing To Do Your Work, I used a question to feel into the energy of the pressure point. What came out was the energy story of the pressure point moving from feeling overwhelmed by the energy, to self-awareness, to release. This is the energy story of Mass-Consciousness following the question: What is Truth?
There are times when I feel so insignificant that I feel I am ghost light without substance.
I know not where to go to fill myself, to feel alive, to live fully.
I feel nothing real can exist within me, nothing of value, nothing of truth.
Every experience is led by the deepest desire to find substance, nourishment, fulfillment.
I listen to the surrounding voices. I breathe in the energy around me. I taste the air, sucking in whatever touches my heart whether it be joy or fear, love or hate.
For anything is better than nothing.
Anything is better than emptiness.
Besides, I know, I am told, that the empty state is my fault. I am not capable of finding a steady stream of sustenance. I am not capable of protecting me and mine. I am without any sense of substantial value.
This was my inner landscape until one day my awareness shifted.
The first shift was tiny, minuscule, almost as formless as I thought myself to be.
A shift of doubt.
But not doubt towards me. Instead, doubt towards those loud voices outside.
In the shift, this voice of doubt quietly asked me, “What if the outside voice is wrong?”
Doubt and I have been fast friends yet doubt surprised me with this reversal.
Because now thought, I couldn’t unthink the question. “What if the outside voice is wrong?”
Knowing that failure exists within my experience, I realized I could conceive that failure was possible elsewhere.
“So, tell me,” I began as I thought to question doubt. “If the outside voice isn’t always right, what does that mean for me?”
Doubt did not reply.
Instead possibility said, “Perhaps you’re not so empty after all.”
Surprisingly, these words filled me.
For the first time, I felt less empty, less like vapor, less like a ghost.
I felt the words of possibility. I searched within myself. I found treasure hidden by the oppressive outside voice.
Since then, I have been slowly unpacking the truth lovingly held at my center.
I have found much. I have a capable mind and a huge heart filled with love.
I also have the ability to listen to myself.
When I listen to me, I hear what I have longed for: fulfillment, sustenance, and nourishment.
When I listen to me, I hear my truth within.
The joy I feel. The love I share. The peace I now inhabit.
Let me tell you what I found because these might be words of possibility for you as well.
When I listen to my heart, I hear my truth within.
In listening, I realize that I no longer doubt myself. I no longer believe I can’t get to my truth.
In my awareness, something new steps forward: confidence.
Shaky at first, definitely in need of reinforcement.
But there it is: my belief in myself – my self-confidence.
I am confident I can learn to hear my truth from the depths of my heart.
This is the energy story of Mass Consciousness and is part of the writing I have done for my next book, To Do Your Work. To read other excerpts, go here.