Anger comes when there is a dissonance between the realization of intention and the expected path of the intention. In other words, anger can emerge when what is expected is not what happens.
All action happens within the infinite possibility of the infinite and eternal which is always way beyond what is known or can be known in any moment.
Expressed intention is made within the limits of human knowing. When the intention is realized, the outcome is directed by the infinite and eternal within a perspective way beyond human knowing.
Nothing ever moves as expected because of infinite possibility.
What is Anger?
At the fundamental basis of human existence, anger is the forgetting that intention will play out within an infinite and eternal awareness beyond the known and unknown.
Anger is a remembrance of the tendency to forget about the boundaries of the known.
Anger is the word for the flow of emotion which wells up in the moment of remembering this forgetting.
Intention is the initiator of human motion. Intention establishes a vision of outcome. And this vision can be mistaken for infinite possibility.
Instead, this vision is the capacity within the known at the time the intention is established. From the view of infinite possibility this vision is never the “whole” picture even though the vision is held as the whole picture. Human vision is but a facet of the infinite and eternal of All That Is.
Even between two people, with seemingly the same intention, the expected outcome and path to that outcome can be vastly different.
This means that conflict is possible. The conflict appears when there is a reminder, conscious or unconscious, that the vision was forgotten to be limited and not of the infinite and eternal.
Thus, the issue of anger is about the reaction to remembering the forgetting.
Defuse Anger with a Simple Question
Programmed to blame in the face of anger, reactions include: Stupid! Look what you did! This is attacking because the remembering tends to bring on a defensive mode — even if the person attacked is self.
In the face of anger and instead of blame, the more helpful response is moves into conscious awareness of the motion of the anger by asking:
What am I remembering that I forgot or never understood to begin with?
In posing the question, the motion is to step out blame and let go of anger.
Asking this question begins the process by first taking responsibility both for the forgetting and for the tendency to blame.
- Anger comes forward to lift our awareness towards our forgetting.
- Anger comes when vision and the known is ready to expand.
- Anger lifts our eyes towards what was unknowable and unknown.
- Anger is the motion of expansion within.
- Anger indicates the point of expansion as friction.
- Anger facilitates a growing awareness of All That Is.
By shifting to a questioning and awareness mode, attack and blame are defused. Vision expands and the situation can be re-framed within a new understanding leaving the heat of anger behind.
Remember that Anger is hard to defuse! Begin by noticing how anger moves in your body and awareness. At this point don’t try to not be anger. Take the opportunity to learn about your anger. These questions can help you see your anger from a deeper perspective:
- Where do you feel anger?
- Where does it start?
- How does it progress?
- Is your impulse to step into blame or attack? Of who?
- What shuts down?
- What gears up?
- Do you have a point of no return?
Once you begin to get a sense of the deeper parts of your anger, step into a moment of anger to learn. Focus either on a real, present moment of anger or a moment of past anger where you can still feel the heat of anger. Ask this question:
What am I forgetting or never saw to begin with?
As much as you can, stay aware of what moves forward into your awareness. Reflect on this knowing and follow the awareness wherever it may lead you. Repeat the question and see if new motion and knowing come forward.
Be patient in this process. Know that you will need time, days maybe, weeks even, to follow the knowing which emerges.
What do you learn about yourself and your journey within anger?
The Heat of Anger Affirmation:
I allow myself to remember my forgetting.