I Began the Process of Divorce is part of the introduction to Sacred Hot Beginnings. This is a book I wrote about my exploration into sacred relationship and sacred sexuality through the experience of online dating after 25 years of marriage which ended in divorce.
At 52 years old, I began the process of divorce. Unexpected — yet as my wheel of fortune turned, the best event of my life.
Two years later, after divorce heartache and defiance, loss, insult, and the recovery of the real me, I began dating.
Online dating came with great experience, good guys, and one very unexpected realization:
Who I am spiritually is not separate from who I am sexually.
If, in my 50s, I was just coming to this conclusion, obviously twenty-five years of marriage had been severely lacking.
Emotion. Growth. Intimacy. Honesty. None of these were truly part of that married time.
In the first six months of post-divorce dating, I learned a ton about myself, about how much I craved touch on all levels, and how much sexual intimacy was an innate personal need of mine.
With every experience, every touch, every ecstatic release, I learned the opening notes of my sacred sexuality and the powerful musical possibilities of sacred relationship.
I began writing. Poetry. Articles for my blog. Erotica. Some fantasy. Some real. Some a mix of the possibilities I felt evolving and weaving within me.
In the process, I found myself and decided the first sacred relationship needed was me with myself. Nothing else could bloom until I had tended my own garden.
In the process, I coined the term Sacred Hot to describe that awesome intersection between the depths of my heart and soul with the beauty of my body and the intelligence of my mind.
Sensual. Spicy. Sexy. Steamy. Sapiosexual. Spiritual. Sacred Hot.
I also began small forays into the possibilities with friends and acquaintances. I told them that after fifteen years as a Spiritual Guide, I was finding that in my dating life I couldn’t leave the spiritual side of myself behind. In fact, everything was much better when I was present within all of me.
This very decidedly non-fiction spiritual writer was finding deep expression in unfiltered connection between all life: mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual.
What follows describes the first year of my deep dive into post-divorce dating, into the possibilities of sacred relationship, and into the depths of myself.
Every turn of my journey brought me incredible learning about myself. Every step allowed growth and expansion, pushing me forward in my life cycle, called from within to follow, to learn, to laugh, and to love. I went kissing frogs and found me.