I made a mistake this past Monday: I let a friend’s recommendation of a health practitioner override the responsibility I have to myself. The responsibility I owe myself to check out the methods and philosophy of a person I approach for support in my healing. If my friend recommends this person, she must be good, I thought. Next time I think that, I will stop and begin again. What do I know about this person, their techniques and their beliefs about the healing process? How does this fit with my needs and my beliefs? I want to be open to the magic that happens and — I also owe it to myself to be responsible.
I am not talking about going to the nth degree to avoid pain or unpleasant situations. I am talking about ignoring my truth. When I give up being responsible for myself, I can not act in balance with my truth. Truth, you know that gut feeling which unfailingly guides you towards situations where you feel in balance with your self, where you feel honest, where you feel your integrity uncompromised.
Stumbling on my responsibility, someone may just decide to be responsible for me. And now it’s not about my truth, it is about how they want to see me and what they decide is my problem. Oh, I know what will cure you, they say with conviction. And whether I realize it or not, I am now back at another moment of truth for myself: who gets to decide my truth, them or me? It’s clear that they are willing to accept the responsibility of me and they are certainly willing to decide the course of my healing. Am I willing to give myself up once again?
The moment you come back to your senses and re-affirm your responsibility for your self, there will be a tussle. They won’t give up without a fight or at least without a warning that your defect, as they see it, is blocking your ability to see their wisdom. I’m not saying that there might not be some truth in what they say. But in this situation, first what is at stake is plain: who is in charge of you?
ME. I am in charge of me. I am responsible for me. Me is my experience, not theirs. In me, with me, through me, the only place where balance begins and truth emerges. Give up self, and lose the guiding light, your center, your truth. It’s all about me. Without me, lose awareness, lose perspective, lose self-love. Me is the platform of expansion, transformation and, most importantly, integration. I don’t mean the inflexible me of ego. I mean the me that is flexible because this me begins at my center, in the home of my inner knowing. When self-responsibility is neglected, me becomes other, outside, away where me is subject to interpretation by something not me, where me is lost without foundation, without comfort, without truth.
ME. I am responsible for me; me at home, in truth, set free. Me.