I’m done with takers. No more! I’m done especially with men who do nothing more than take from me. I know most of them have no idea the extent of their taking caught as they are in the outdated energy of give and take. But that’s not an acceptable excuse — certainly not good enough for me to give up me.
I am also done being a giver. My participation in this world is so much broader and deeper. I am not a giver, letting myself go to any taker who appears in front of me. Nope! Done with this give-give-give mode of relationship.
Taking comes from the ideas of power-over, fear, and the belief that love is scarce. This has been the traditional male role: take to control, take to establish power, take to induce fear. And as a woman, I have been trained and indoctrinated that my role is giver. To be a woman is to be a giver, a selfless nurturer, finding self-satisfaction through the happiness of others. I am exhorted to give up power, give up control, give up to reduce fear. To escape being the victim of whoever might want to exert power over me.
I am responsible for me. I make choices for myself. I decide how to live my life. And, here, now, I say no to giver. No more. I am no longer a giver and I refuse to concede to the game of give and take. Because if I am a giver then the men who come into my life will be takers. And as I have said already, I’m done with takers.
If I’m done with the relationship model of give and take, then what is available within my desire for healthy, vital, sacred relationship? Sacred relationship comes out of balance and is beyond the control and dictates of fear and power over. In fact, it is about the balance of personal power. A balance in the ebb and flow. A balance where love is freely exchanged. A relationship where each person offers and receives. Gone are the power dynamics of dominance. Instead both share a willingness to offer the best of self to the other and receive a lovingly offered flow in return.
That’s what I want: a man who will offer the best of himself in his search for the best of me. And that’s what I want from me: an offering of the best of me and my ability to receive the best of him.
No longer a giver.
I receive. I offer. I am fully me in this balance of relationship which creates us.
For a deep dive, begin with What is Sacred Relationship?