If it?s true that my marriage was to a boy who expected me to do the emotional heavy lifting in our relationship, then it follows that I have never been in a mature adult relationship with a man ? especially one who is willing and able to show up and risk sharing vulnerable, emotional intimacy. And if this is true, then it follows that even though I may have the capacity to reciprocate maturely, I have at best limited experience. And, OMG! I don?t want to screw up the next relationship. I don?t want to get in my own way or scare away potentials or fail to recognize reasonable signals because of a lack of experience. My heart feels so open and so ready to dive deeply and fully and completely and I?m not sure if I know how.